Sitting in Line

It feels like I have wasted many many hours of my life waiting in line at Nina's school. At the beginning of the year parents started getting there an entire hour before school was out, being the follower that I am I also got there super early. Sitting in a car for 45+ min with 2 small children is not my idea of fun. Emma has so many questions and loves to talk. Rowan on the other hand is either hunger or tired which makes for a fussy baby. I just hate waiting so, I grumpy too.

I have waisted these hours of my life playing on my phone, talking to friends, talking to Emma, feeding Rowan and just simply being board. There are so many things at my house, that would have been much more productive, to be done.

These last few weeks parents have been getting there later and later, and again being a follower I try to get there later. One big problem, I am a creature of habit and like day to stay the same. I try and try to waist time at my house so I don't leave early but I get very on edge knowing that I am not leaving ON TIME.

I wish I was more of a free spirit, a go with the flow person. Someone who doesn't have to leave right on time, someone who can be a couple minutes late.

Nina would die if was late, not literally but emotionally. At the beginning of school if I wasn't one of the first 4 cars she would start crying. It didn't help that some of the teachers weren't very nice when this happened. I try to be a good parent but she seems to be way to emotionally dependent on me. I hate that for her. I don't want her to go through the pains of life that I have from being emotionally dependent on someone. I have to find a way to help her love herself!!